Surprise! This Line Goes Somewhere
“When the total is given, please do not have the audacity to look surprised that you must pay now.”
People of the World,
If you are standing in line for a register at a clothing store, a book store or a coffee shop, at some point you are going to have to “pay”. Please to be clarifying? You must trade your money for the product or service offered by the establishment in which you are standing. If you do not give money, you will be stealing/shoplifting and could face prosecution.
Although registers are sometimes called “cash registers”, your payment does not have to be cash; most places accept debit or credit cards and personal checks.
The time for burrowing into your bottomless bag for your wallet is NOT when you reach the cashier. You should be aware of where your wallet is and whether or not it has money/cards in it. These are all things to ascertain before you even get in line. Do not wait until you reach the register and the cashier has given you the total, to come to your senses and fumble for your money. WHEN THE TOTAL IS GIVEN, PLEASE DO NOT HAVE THE AUDACITY TO LOOK SURPRISED THAT YOU MUST PAY NOW. The cashier and the other people in line will rightly hate you. Understand? They are right to hate you. I hate you and I’m not even there.
I know that sometimes you are chatting with a friend, or there is some kind of diversion, but that is no excuse. If you are in line, you are there to fork over the payment or risk being tackled by a rent-a-cop. Never, ever forget that! It is unacceptable to not be prepared for these very simple transactions.
It is 99.9% certain that a register line will lead to a register. If you can not get this straight, it is 100% certain that you’re a fucking moron and should stay home.
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