Is That an Alligator in Your Pants…?
“Moral: when smuggling animals onto a plane, do not have anything metal anywhere at anytime.”
Not only do I find it funny that the Transportation Security Administration has a “zany stories” section (and that it’s called “Terminal Madness”), I find it bizarrely amusing that there were apparently only five newsworthy items about which to write. Could you be anymore half-assed? Or maybe the other funny stories were all suppressed in the interest of national security? [Cue villain music. And Dick Cheney.]
Anyway, if this guy had not set off the metal detector (twice), they would not have found that baby alligator in a sock taped to his thigh. Moral: when smuggling animals onto a plane, do not have anything metal anywhere at anytime. Or, metal parts should be made of solid gold. AND, if he had taped the alligator to his man-parts, the security people would have been too scared to say anything. He could have claimed that he had a very special type of “erectile epilepsy”.
Now listening to:
Now reading:
//RECENT
Vincent Moon and Arcade Fire Walk Into An Elevator….“[T]he crowd seemed really emotionally engaged with the music.”
Water Water Everywhere…. “Water, water, everywhere,
And all the boards did shrink;
Water, water, everywhere,
Nor any drop to drink.”
- The Rime of the Ancient Mariner
Samuel Taylor Coleridge
An extended version of Bon Iver’s La Blogotheque Take Away Show of “For Emma, Forever Ago” with three versions of the song and some very startled tourists. I think this is one of my favorite things in the whole world. Not just that the song is so beautiful, and is so beautifully sung, but that [...]
So, This Stephen Malkmus-looking Guy Who Went to High School with My Boss Wrote a Children’s BookA man once said, “Childrens do learn.” and I believe childrens should learn to dream big dreams. Even better is to dream arty dreams like a hipster might draw. This hipster author’s name is Dallas Clayton. Although I do not know for sure that Dallas Clayton is a hipster, he looks like this: And, I [...]
Matilde UrrutiaIt isn’t simply that you are loved gloriously, or loved beautifully. But rather that a pitch perfect expression of love for you sounds and sounds, Rises into the very air. Though the love itself may fade, I do not know, The poetry you inspire ascends, ascending Becomes stars and you, who are so loved, Look [...]
//FROM THE ARCHIVES
RIP KucinichIn the wake of the recent decision to keep Dennis Kucinich from participating in the South Carolina democratic debate, it looks as if the little man we love to crack jokes about is dropping out of the campaign entirely. And with the other minority candidates flagging with him, so goes much of what was left [...]
Way to Make Me Cry, James Carville“The passing of Tim Russert throws into high relief this country’s lack of steadfastly reasonable and fair reporting.”
I Laugh Every Time I See A Humvee7 MPG. Ha ha ha ha.
Still A Good Movie After Eighteen Years“Basically, if you broke your leg, they would apply a Hello Kitty band-aid and tell you to run along.”
Easy Like Sunday MorningI got to the carnival cruise line and headed straight for the bar. I passed Captain Stubing, tossed a wink at Julie “Your Cruise Director” and sidled on past the sullen and strangely already sunburned corpses in barca-loungers on the deck. There was no time to waste. I ordered coffee. It’s still too early for [...]
