Crushing
I’ve decided that I should just have unrequited and cliche crushes on unattainable celebrities like normal people do, I mean, in addition to Jim Jarmusch. My first one is currently Bill Hader:
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No, no, let me guess, People Who’ve Met Bill Hader, he’s an asshole, right? You hate his guts, right? He ripped your kitten’s paw off and ate it, right? Well, I don’t care. All the real guys I’ve had crushes on are the same if not worse. Plus they aren’t as cute as Bill. Or as funny. Or as Vincent Price-y.Please note, I do realize he’s married as well. Again, this does not seem to stop any of the other married/involved men who have approached me.
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//RECENT
Water Water Everywhere…. “Water, water, everywhere,
And all the boards did shrink;
Water, water, everywhere,
Nor any drop to drink.”
- The Rime of the Ancient Mariner
Samuel Taylor Coleridge
An extended version of Bon Iver’s La Blogotheque Take Away Show of “For Emma, Forever Ago” with three versions of the song and some very startled tourists. I think this is one of my favorite things in the whole world. Not just that the song is so beautiful, and is so beautifully sung, but that [...]
So, This Stephen Malkmus-looking Guy Who Went to High School with My Boss Wrote a Children’s BookA man once said, “Childrens do learn.” and I believe childrens should learn to dream big dreams. Even better is to dream arty dreams like a hipster might draw. This hipster author’s name is Dallas Clayton. Although I do not know for sure that Dallas Clayton is a hipster, he looks like this: And, I [...]
Matilde UrrutiaIt isn’t simply that you are loved gloriously, or loved beautifully. But rather that a pitch perfect expression of love for you sounds and sounds, Rises into the very air. Though the love itself may fade, I do not know, The poetry you inspire ascends, ascending Becomes stars and you, who are so loved, Look [...]
I Left My Heart in Bon Iver“However, this was one of those shows that blows you quite away and I felt privileged to have gotten to witness it.”
//FROM THE ARCHIVES
I Almost Know Someone at NASA“My hope is that somewhere on the Webs, my brother is being pointed to as an example of a typical snarky Atheist, Jesus-disparager.”
Whippersnappers“Though they may be tomorrow’s butterflies, they are today’s soft, squishy and slow-moving caterpillars.”
The Relation of Doors to The Laws of Physics“It is hard to slam doors with closing mechanisms.”
An Assortment of ThingsSomeone, please give John Waters a Lifetime Achievement Award for Best Mustache Ever. Also, I just found out that VH1 is doing this Rock Autism thing. Look, that’s a fantastic cause and I’m all for it, but people, not everything is rockable. Stop demeaning whatever issue you’re attempting to address.
Crushing, Part Zwei“See? I’ve got jokes. We could sit around being funny together. Then he could leave me for a 22 year-old model/actress named Stacey.”
