The Unhappy Dog Poem
There is a dog who is
walked near my work.
Rotund, like a neck roll,
with tiny stubs for legs.
Surely the existence of
such an animal goes
against all laws of nature.
Surely this is an abomination
in the eyes of god.
Surely, I hear Darwin spinning
in his grave, some genetic roulette
wheel, that’s been rigged. cheaters.
I am utterly repulsed by this
anomaly, until I look up,
and see its owner.
Who is much worse.
Now listening to:
Now reading:
//RECENT
Water Water Everywhere…. “Water, water, everywhere,
And all the boards did shrink;
Water, water, everywhere,
Nor any drop to drink.”
- The Rime of the Ancient Mariner
Samuel Taylor Coleridge
An extended version of Bon Iver’s La Blogotheque Take Away Show of “For Emma, Forever Ago” with three versions of the song and some very startled tourists. I think this is one of my favorite things in the whole world. Not just that the song is so beautiful, and is so beautifully sung, but that [...]
So, This Stephen Malkmus-looking Guy Who Went to High School with My Boss Wrote a Children’s BookA man once said, “Childrens do learn.” and I believe childrens should learn to dream big dreams. Even better is to dream arty dreams like a hipster might draw. This hipster author’s name is Dallas Clayton. Although I do not know for sure that Dallas Clayton is a hipster, he looks like this: And, I [...]
Matilde UrrutiaIt isn’t simply that you are loved gloriously, or loved beautifully. But rather that a pitch perfect expression of love for you sounds and sounds, Rises into the very air. Though the love itself may fade, I do not know, The poetry you inspire ascends, ascending Becomes stars and you, who are so loved, Look [...]
I Left My Heart in Bon Iver“However, this was one of those shows that blows you quite away and I felt privileged to have gotten to witness it.”
//FROM THE ARCHIVES
Evolutionary“If we look at the innumerable species of animals who exist or have existed, we see many, many failures.”
Now THAT Explains the Burning Bush!Thanks to the “diligent” work of “scientists” intent on ruining all of our best yarns, now it turns out that, in fact, it’s most probable that Moses was high on powerful psychotropic drugs when he scaled Mount Sinai and “heard God” deliver the Ten Commandments. According to these “scientists”, this use of mind-altering substances was [...]
20 Ways to Reduce Your Carbon FootprintWe’ve heard way too much lately about the seemingly insurmountable environmental problems to which we all contribute every day. It’s enough to make you downright defeatist. It’s enough to make you think we’re all just fucked and there’s nothing to be done. All we can say is that the more we hear about all of [...]
Easy Like Sunday MorningI got to the carnival cruise line and headed straight for the bar. I passed Captain Stubing, tossed a wink at Julie “Your Cruise Director” and sidled on past the sullen and strangely already sunburned corpses in barca-loungers on the deck. There was no time to waste. I ordered coffee. It’s still too early for [...]
CrushingI’ve decided that I should just have unrequited and cliche crushes on unattainable celebrities like normal people do, I mean, in addition to Jim Jarmusch. My first one is currently Bill Hader: [volume alert: it's quieter] [volume alert: it's louder] No, no, let me guess, People Who’ve Met Bill Hader, he’s an asshole, right? You [...]
