//Society
By cari || July 15, 2009
“‘Crusty Punk’ sounds fittingly like a euphemism for syphilis.”
Let’s see:
a) I can barely tell the difference between emaciated cokeheads who spent hours making themselves look dirty and emaciated junkies who look dirty because they sleep in dirt. I suppose the nose will know(s).
b) “Gutter Punk” is so ’90s. “Crusty Punk” sounds fittingly like a euphemism for syphilis.
c) Williamsburg is not a “family neighborhood”.
d) Hilarious that the half-built luxury condos are now infested.
e) This is why I shun (and loathe) panhandlers. I have ever since living between the Upper and Lower Haight in SF. Fie on middle-class kids who don’t want to work but call me yuppie whatevs while simultaneously trying to wheedle money.
[ Topic Diversity, Housing, Ridiculosity, Society | No Comments ]
By cari || January 16, 2009
“Could we please put on our grammatical Sunday-best in matters of life and death?”
Some friends and I have noted a distressing trend, the noticing of which may make us ‘old’ or ‘old-fashioned’ or even dare I say, ‘persnickety’. I prefer to frame it as ‘retaining a sense of decorum’. Social networking has granted us the perverse contradiction of being better connected with everyone and yet far less engaged with the same. So, while Twitter and Facebook status updates let me know if you have a cold or your cat is M.I.A. or your doctorate thesis was well-received, I may not have spoken to you for more than four months.
Subsequently, I have learned of impending break-ups and divorces via social networking sites, complete with trite, diminishing icons such as Facebook’s ‘broken heart’, i.e. “[broken heart] Paul is no longer in a relationship.” Then the subject is flooded with emails, wall posts and comments along the lines of, “Ohhh nooooo! What happened?” The broken heart icon comes about when one makes changes to one’s Facebook profile, and more than one broken-hearted friend has been chagrined by the unintentional broadcasting of their bad news. Worse yet are announcements of love lost in status updates or other bulletin-board-y modes. By far the most disconcerting to date was when a friend told me of his impending divorce on the message board of our Scrabulous (R.I.P.) game. Okay, so Twitter and Facebook are easy, quick ways to let a lot of people know something you would like them to know. It can also, I have found, serve as a way of saying something you would rather not say, or imparting news you would rather not have, to wit, illness and death.
I think most of us have received news of a loved one’s loss through e-mail, or other kinds of mass distributed messaging. Of course in times like that who wants to spend hours on the phone, repeating something so painful and difficult to say in the first place?
Recently, a friend lost her father, with whom she had had a complicated relationship. What was novel was that she posted updates on his health, at times cryptically worded, on Facebook and likely elsewhere, probably from her iPhone outside the hospital. When he finally passed, she posted something along the lines of, “Dying looks so different than I thought it would.” So, that was an odd way of sharing difficult news during a difficult time. It would not have been my first choice.
What disturbed me far, far more than her posting the updates were the unintentionally glib and silly comments posted by friends in response, most attempting a helpful, supportive or consoling vein. Their undoing was their structure; their syntax and grammar and spelling:
Sorry UR dad died. 
U never really lose people because they R always in UR heart.
Let us set aside for the moment my penchant for fully and properly spelled words, not to mention sounding like an adult and not a 12 year-old girl. Instead, let us examine the complete negation of emotion accomplished by these ‘drive-thru’ sentiments, these Hannah Montana platitudes. We are all plugged into something hollow here and I am frankly aghast. Frowny faces should be reserved for pedestrian use. Could we please put on our grammatical Sunday-best in matters of life and death? Frowny facing someone’s death is a new high in lows, beyond the pale.
Let us suppose that she wanted support and condolences on Facebook, or that she wanted answering gestures to her gesture. She did set a precedence with her status updates. However, y’all couldn’t spell that shite out? Y’all gonna whip out some emoticon, the same one you used when the puppy cam was down?
Please people, let us make a pact today: when true tragedy visits and people we love (or know or met once at a party, or never met in person) are suffering, are grappling with enormous and painful circumstances, let us dust off our grown-up words and our grown-up emotions and try to make a real connection, to offer true comfort and support, if comfort and support be your aim.
[ Topic Ridiculosity, Society | No Comments ]
By toby || November 8, 2008
I’m not going to tell people that their vote on Prop 8 was wrong or right. I’m just going to point out a couple of parallels in history that today are universally understood to be very dark times for civil rights in the US, but at the time were seen as justified just as Prop 8 may seem to some people now.
My hope is that people will look beyond their personal agendas, justified as they may seem, and see the bigger picture.
First up, denying marriage for one segment of the population:
In 1913, 30 states enforced laws banning marriage between whites and non-whites. In 1924, Virginia joined them when its legislature made marriage between white persons and non-white persons a felony. These laws remained in effect until 1967, when the US Supreme Court found them to be contrary to the guarantees of the US Constitution.
In 2007, 26 states had constitutional amendments explicitly barring the recognition of same-sex marriage, 18 of them prohibited the legal recognition of ANY same-sex union, and 19 more had legislation narrowly defining marriage to exclude same-sex partners. On Nov. 4th 2008, California, Florida, and Arizona joined the list, bring the total to 48.
Further back in history, another uncanny parallel:
Prior to 1835, the Supreme Court of North Carolina upheld the constitutional right of free men of color to vote; in response, the people voted in an amendment to the North Carolina Constitution removing this right by a majority of 55%.
On May 15, 2008, the Supreme Court of California overturned an unconstitutional ban of same-sex marriage; in response, the people voted in an amendment to the California Constitution removing this right by a majority vote of 52%.
It took until 1870 (a generation later) for government endorsed discrimination to be overturned by the 15th amendment, and another century before equal rights for all were guaranteed by law. Those ideals are once again under attack, the Constitution that once protected all Californians from discrimination and granted all people the same rights has been rewritten to single out one group of people for discrimination.
In both historical instances mentioned above, the justifications seemed reasonable to the majority at the time but are now universally seen as wrong.
Will America find a way to embrace equality once and for all, or must we leave it to future generations to prove us wrong once again? Will our children look at what this generation of voters has done in the name of tradition and hang their heads in shame?
Regardless of your religious beliefs or your personal feelings about your fellow Americans, equality is equality, is equality. Protect equal rights under the law in ALL THINGS for ALL PEOPLE.
You can help make a difference, do a little research and make your own choices:
Lambda Legal Defense Fund: http://www.lambdalegal.org/
Equality California: http://www.eqca.org/
Human Rights Campaign: http://www.hrc.org/
[ Topic Diversity, Politics, Politics, Etc., Religion, Society | No Comments ]
By adam || October 25, 2008
Two things have NOT happened since gay people started getting married in California back in June of this year:
1) The apocalypse has NOT occurred, despite what your friends working on Wall Street might have told you.
2) People have gotten exactly 0% smarter. Or to put it another way, while all people are probably getting stupider each day, there are other people actively working to hurry the process along.
The result of the above pair of incontrovertible facts is Proposition 8. This is the latest endeavor by mostly out-of-state interests to codify discrimination under the California Constitution. They offer no apologies, no arguments of any believable substance, nor do they really try to disguise their Proposition as anything more than what it really is: An effort to deny constitutional rights and freedoms to a specific sub-section of our populace simply because supporters of Prop 8 woke up one day feeling like fucking assholes.
Oh shit. Excuse me. Pardon the expletive. It just slipped out. I totally did not mean to brand my fellow Californians (and also the Floridian and Utah Mormon financial backers) as total assholes. And yet…um…yeah…I sorta did. Don’t Mormon’s have enough damned discrimination to worry about? And after 8 years of Bush, frankly I think it’s time we took a long, hard look at why we’re listening to people from Florida at all anymore.
Proposition 8 is indefensible. If you’re not against it, please try to drag yourself aboard the train headed towards modernity where we all try to treat eachother with some basic human respect and don’t waste our time trying to Constitutionally discriminate against people just because they’re different. I have this feeling that it won’t even take you a trip to Wikipedia to refresh your memory as to why this is a shitty idea.
On November 4th, Vote NO on Prop 8. Don’t be a douche.
3rd Grade Gay
Gay Speakeasies
[ Topic Diversity, Politics, Politics, Etc., Ridiculosity, Society | 2 Comments ]
By cari || June 25, 2008
“On really hot or humid days you should have a bottle of water with you in case your dog gets thirsty.”
People, as much as I adore petting your dog in bars, please, please do not bring him or her where loud music and/or humans are present. Try to view a loud, hipster bar from their perspective: dogs have exceptionally good hearing (and olfactory prowess) and the noise probably feels pretty bombastic to them. They cannot cover their floppy ears with their adorable paws. Even if your dog doesn’t have Noise Phobia, if you have to raise your voice to be heard over the music or noise then your dog would probably be happier elsewhere.
I’m not saying you should arrange your life around your dog or neglect your dog by leaving it alone all day and night whilst you frolic. All I am suggesting is going to a quieter bar or going out earlier before it gets loud or maybe just being a little sensitive to your dog’s needs instead of being a selfish, unthinking dick head.
The worst example of this I ever saw was a woman walked her dog into Barcade and two steps in the dog turned around and tried to run out the door. Like, an honest-to-god attempt to make a break for it. And she dragged it inside anyway. Also awful to witness was this woman who brought the cutest, tiniest, snuggliest puppy into Barcade like it was a friggin’ doll. It was pretty loud inside. Both R. and I were aghast.
Unrelated to noise, on really hot or humid days you should have a bottle of water with you in case your dog gets thirsty. One time I saw this woman jog across the Williamsburg bridge with her dog and then turn right around and jog back. It was a hot, humid day and that dog looked pooped and dehydrated. That’s nearly 3 miles under a hot sun, lady! If you want to know how your dog feels, next time wear a sweater while you’re jogging! Barefoot on hot concrete!
I also don’t think people should smoke around pets (or children, obviously), even outdoors. And people shouldn’t swear in front of children, even if they’re going to learn it elsewhere, you should show them it is possible to convey ideas sans obscenities. That last bit doesn’t have to do with dogs, but right now for me they are still kind of the same thing.
[ Topic Ridiculosity, Society | No Comments ]
By adam || June 17, 2008
Okay. So Clearly I had some very concrete expectations as to how the weather was going to be this morning when I walked outside my house. In short, I expected it would be really, really hot. Like, you know, hellfire kinda hot. I guess I also expected to hear some sort of booming macho voice shouting down from the heavens explaining that you get what you pay for.
Oddly, around 7am there was the usual squirrel fight in my backyard, and now at nearly 10am, I’m hearing quite a few birds chirping, but astoundingly few other signs of the apocalypse. I think I’m gonna wait to post this for a few hours. This could just be the calm before the inevitable storm.
—————
Uh. Hmm. It’s 2-ish now. That should have been enough time. Did I mention that THESE TWO LADIES GOT MARRIED!?
There’s gotta be a logical explanation. Do you think maybe a certain all-knowing ethereal being upstairs just forgot which day this law went into effect? Maybe tomorrow we’ll be rocking some hellfire? Yeah?
[ Topic Politics, Etc., Ridiculosity, Society | No Comments ]
By adam || June 16, 2008
So as of this writing, the first few gay couples in Los Angeles and San Francisco are counting down the last butterflies-in-the-stomach minutes before they officially tie the knot and start rocking out some marital bliss.
But before the moment of truth, I wanted to go on record with a preemptive ”I told you so” before the sun rises tomorrow and we find ourselves living in a new kind of hell on earth, flush with fire, brimstone, and probably a few folks who have fallen down the slippery slope and opted to marry their house pet instead of a human (thanks for the warning Rick Santorum!).
Of course, if none of that happens tomorrow, then I guess I’ll have some egg on my face. Like if it turns out to be just another day wherein people go to work, bitch about gas prices and the war, then go home with some take-out chinese food to watch a marathon of The Deadliest Catch, then I suppose we’ll all look pretty stupid for complaining so much about gay marriage.
But really, come on. Let’s be realistic. It’s obviously gonna be the fire and brimstone option I’m sure. We’re totally overdue for some of that stuff. Seriously. How could it not end in a hell on earth with all the damnation and the whatnot?
Fingers crossed!
[ Topic Politics, Etc., Religion, Ridiculosity, Society | 1 Comment ]
By cari || June 11, 2008
“If the majority of people are social technocrats, I’m socially Amish.”
For a long time growing up I felt supremely transparent, that everything I thought or felt was pretty obvious to everyone around me. I still feel that way to a degree, though some people mistake my shyness for aloofness. On the other hand, a good number of people are irritating and I genuinely don’t like them. So…I’m not sure what my point is there.
On top of that is my tendency to conserve energy, not engaging in debates with blowhards, not talking at length on the phone, and at my very worst, not bothering to project or enunciate when I’m talking to someone. This is my favorite mode of communication, the one where I feel most
comfortable and most confident, these pixels appearing on monitors near you, or making ink shapes on paper. If I could communicate with more people, especially men, in writing, I would have dates all over the place.
At work I’ve been making a special effort to say “hi” to people, just to show that I like them. I think I felt like if I like a person, he or she would just know it and I wouldn’t need to say anything by way of confirmation. But then I realized recently that I just walk right by people I like and don’t even acknowledge them. I tend to get so goal-oriented with my communication that I overlook really basic, obvious social cues and gestures. This also ties in with my tendency to feel overwhelmed by too much stimuli.
Saying hello is a another one of those things that other people just do off-hand and it requires little to no thought for them. Not so with me. If the majority of people are social technocrats, I’m socially Amish.
The good news is, I’m aware of it and I’m learning and I’m doing better. I think I may have squandered some social capital and goodwill that I had previously earned because I was socially unaware, so I am determined not to let that happen again. And we all know how far my determination gets me.
Ps.
[ Topic Neuroses, Ridiculosity, Society | No Comments ]
By cari || May 29, 2008
“No need to talk to friends anymore.”
is so you can publicly declare your love and your subsequent break-up on Facebook, complete with whole and broken heart icons. No need to talk to friends anymore. And if you’re anything like me, you’re going to blog about it anyway. [Oh, and the other reason is a hopefully constant source of sex.]
We should walk around with icons like that floating above our heads or pinned to our shirts. Like Walken wagging his tail when he’s angry, you’d always know where someone’s head was at. Of course, it might be a little awkward say, coming home to your spouse with a shiny new heart icon above you. Or a broken heart. I’m pretty sure if people were that transparent, everyone would just stop getting married. Or perhaps not.
I want to say something pithy and clever and semi-ironic about love’s doomed optimism, but I just can’t. For some reason it hurts my heart to make fun of it.
[ Topic Pop Culture, Ridiculosity, Society | No Comments ]
Next Page »
![[painkiller.org]](http://www.painkiller.org/wordpress/wp-content/themes/painkiller-2008/images/banner_logo.png){kind=logo}
![[painkiller.org]](http://www.painkiller.org/wordpress/wp-content/themes/painkiller-2008/images/banner_photo_1.png)
