a) I can barely tell the difference between emaciated cokeheads who spent hours making themselves look dirty and emaciated junkies who look dirty because they sleep in dirt. I suppose the nose will know(s).

b) “Gutter Punk” is so ’90s. “Crusty Punk” sounds fittingly like a euphemism for syphilis.

c) Williamsburg is not a “family neighborhood”.

d) Hilarious that the half-built luxury condos are now infested.

e) This is why I shun (and loathe) panhandlers. I have ever since living between the Upper and Lower Haight in SF. Fie on middle-class kids who don’t want to work but call me yuppie whatevs while simultaneously trying to wheedle money.

Basically, if you broke your leg, they would apply a Hello Kitty band-aid and tell you to run along. I know we live in a rent stabilized building, but for fuck’s sake.

Anyway, I’m watching “Tremors” on cable and it is still a remarkably entertaining little movie. Very suspenseful and funny. IMDB trivia says that Michael Gross started shooting this the day after filming his last episode of “Family Ties“.

This stuff is great. It doesn’t smell heavily of pesticide (or really of anything) so you can spray the shit out of your mattress and linens and not have to leave the room. If you know anything about bedbugs, you know they are ridiculously difficult to get rid of once you have an infestation. Like, way worse than fleas. Like people have to throw their furniture away.

For more info: bedbugs on Wikipedia, bedbugs in New York and bedbugs at Fox News (ha ha!).

“I am a hipster and I want to buy a house.”

Needless to say, the sign made me do a double take and cheered me up immensely.

Last night I dreamt that my co-worker D. found out the apartment next to his
was available. I went to look at his old place because it’s my unrealized
dream to have my own apartment. It was a studio and the rent was $642 a
month. I thought, well, even if it’s tiny, that’s so cheap!

It was gorgeous. I walked in and even though it was a studio (well, with
another smaller area in the back), the room was the size of my whole
apartment that I currently share. The walls were white and the ceilings
were really high. There was a lot of natural light, which is super important
to me.

I didn’t see D.’s new place, but I imagine it was even bigger because his
rent was $750. I was like, Oh shit! I have to move in right now. I went home and packed a suitcase and figured I would move the rest of my stuff later but I absolutely could not lose out on this apartment.

Later, I either realized that the kitchen was communal and located in the
hallway or there were no kitchens in the apartments. It was not in the
hallway at first and then it was and then it wasn’t. There was also a list
of all the rents posted in the hallway for the five units in the building.
They all ranged between $600-$750. It seemed like maybe D.’s was the best apartment.

You cannot understand how sad I was to wake up and realize it was just a
dream.