May 23, 2009

M moves into my house, which I was able to purchase thanks to the same questionable lending practices that have so embroiled our nation in the current economic crisis. Thank goodness for crooked bankers. We need the extra space in the yard to plant some vegetables.

May 27, 2009

Around the corner is a store called “The Little Knittery”. Over the past two years I’ve taken some joy in making the snarky observation that hipsters must live in your neighborhood when there’s a place there called “The Little Knittery”. This sterling observation may have been funnier when I still felt as if I was one of said hipsters, even just a little bit. Today it occurs to me that I might be a cooler person if I had cause to purchase yarn.

June 2, 2009

With M’s arrival also came a treadmill which I placed at the rear of the garage thinking that would be the end of that. Impossibly, I decide to begin running. In doing this, I set aside the last two decades of sedentary existence, during which time I managed to avoid joining the statistical marvel that is the obesity epidemic thanks only to a very dedicated metabolism. Soon I will be thin and fit, or so I will be told. More accurately, I will soon consider a visit to the jogging store where I will spend $170 on shoes which I will never allow myself to wear out in public.

June 4, 2009

We plant a vegetable garden and unknowingly join a cult of vegetable growing people. Now at least if I die wearing tennis shoes and a cape, it’ll be from something I grew. Like a squash gone horribly wrong. Note: avoid capes.

June 8, 2009

I have now added dorky running shorts with built-in underwear to my exercise ensemble. This slope is considerably more slippery than the warning labels would have you believe.

June 11, 2009

As the landscaping efforts in the yard approach the finish line, M is consumed with trying to find an appropriate spot to install a hammock. This makes her both adorable, and a little manic. Note: Before anyone suggests as much, I should add that I find those free-standing hammocks unsightly and generally objectionable.

June 15, 2009

Proudly sent pictures of our completed backyard landscaping endeavors and brimming vegetable garden to some of the family. My grandmother answers back with the following missive: “Hi!  I’m green with envy and proud of you for having your own garden – and then to make sausage risotto with a home-grown zucchini.   We called it a Victory Garden during WW2 and I remember New Zealand spinach – lots of Vitamin C. The chickens all got some horrible looking bag dragging behind them and eventually Beeps [my grandfather] had to drown them by holding their heads under water in a bucket.”

June 18, 2009

Have harvested one zucchini per day for last four days. Quickly running out of uses for zucchini. Will soon try: nap pillow, nerf substitute for in-home-football-related-chicanery, fuel source for futuristic zucchini powered car (note: invent that car, it sounds awesome), hair tonic and/or nasal decongestant, erotic accessory for dog (note: get dog).

June 19, 2009

M’s mother coming to visit tomorrow. I would be wise to conclude that this strange feeling of pride I feel from being so “adult” that my future mother-in-law would deign a visit, is a sure sign that I am still a child. Also, that I would refer to M’s mother using the above descriptor, is an indicator that M’s efforts to get me thinking about marriage have been hauntingly successful. She is wily.

June 20, 2009

Saturday night. 11pm. Drunk. It was the second bourbon that did it. M and I are in a bar full of people with whom I share an affinity, but who, in point of fact, would not say the same about me. Our topic? I have one year before we need to start having unprotected sex. My internal 20-year-old hears this and leaps with joy even while reminding himself that unprotected sex is “not cool man”. My modern, drunker self in the present tense, knows that there’s no way this means anything other than babies. Babies are now on the menu. And they are hungry.

NEXT TIME

During which time we better get to know M. While perusing paint colors at the local home-improvement-plex, M is recognized for her little-heralded supporting role in a mercifully cancelled television drama featuring melancholic college students. This is the first such occasion to which I have born witness. We end up settling on a paint color unfortunately dubbed “Kitten White”.

AND AFTER THAT

A birthday adventure to Vancouver. We choose this destination based on abundant assertions that Vancouver is a “surprisingly awesome place to visit that one would not naturally choose for a vacation destination”. Yes. People who told us about it used quotes, and they all said exactly those words. This plays into my brand new conspiracy theory that Canada is trying to lure all the good Americans north, thus leaving only a Sara Palin-esque underclass here at home. Canada’s status on the world stage will blossom! They ostensibly accomplish this by having delicious restaurants. Also on the trip, M encounters the friendliest raccoons in North America.

Adam,

Hi.  Any comments on this?  My conservative friends are “terrified that the liberal experiment has begun.”  Hmm.

Hope your day is going well!

Mom,

1) Obviously the president has no obligation to present the opposing view to his plan and cannot be faulted for successfully convincing ABC to cover the issue thoroughly.

2) Since Ronald Reagan abolished the fairness doctrine in 1987, no broadcast entity is required to present equal time to opposing opinions. Is this a good example of journalistic integrity? I’d say no, but it is certainly ABC’s prerogative to cover the issue however they please. If the RNC has a problem with it, the proper recourse is the one they appear to have chosen, which is to take it up with ABC.

3) None of the above can be interpreted as anything other than a very media savvy president doing whatever he can to get the message out on a very important issue. I’m not even sure what “The Liberal Experiment” is, but maybe the folks worried about it could find some more constructive ways to lend their voice to our national troubles.

The “Socialism” argument was bunk, and so is this.

Here’s three cheers to anyone who called and/or wrote the bank. I have a feeling a little well-placed outrage might have had a little something to do with this turn of events.

Regardless, we’ll take an optimistic wait-and-see approach until the deal is set in stone next week.

Email Arsen Melikyan in Eric Garcetti’s office and let him know you’re concerned about this threat to our Farmer’s Market. Also, feel free to give Ricardo a call and at least leave him a message that you’re calling about the Farmer’s Market…if you get him on the horn, then by all means, be nice.

It’s time to make the post office work for your tax dollars. Send a letter, drop a dime, and heck, stop by the bank if you’ve got a free moment. Ricardo Villarreal is the manager and the man responsible for the eviction. We’ve put in a call and he’ll be at the bank at 10am tomorrow, Friday June 12th. The address is 3250 Glendale Blvd. Stop on by and give him a piece of your mind. Make it clear that Atwater Village won’t take this lying down.

Save the Atwater Village Farmers market, and save the veggies. Go ahead and mention the bank bailouts too. Why not? I’m fairly certain Wells Fargo never took any federal dollars, but that doesn’t mean they get to go ruin a really excellent farmers market.

Get more info here: http://www.oursilverlake.com/threads.php?id=158_0_10_0_C

On the local tip, and thanks to The Atwater Village Newbie Blog, I heard word that there’s some danger that Atwater Village’s awesome farmers market might get kicked to the curb by Wells Fargo bank who has, thus far, allowed the market to operate out of its parking lot on Sunday mornings. Now I won’t dredge up the national banking debacle for such selfish reasons as saving my local, super-easy-to-walk-to farmers market, but it does seem like poor timing for “the big bank” to start pushing around “the little farmers market”.

Regardless, desperate times call for desperate measures, which in this case, basically meant writing a strongly worded letter (full disclosure, co-writing actually, with a lovely woman, initials MG). The letter follows, as do the names and addresses of the intended recipients. If you’re a local, please feel free to reuse and send your own letter. Heck, if you’re in New York you can still send it. Free speech man! And reasonably priced veggies too! Reasonably priced!

Dear [PERSON AT LARGE, MEAN OLD BANK],

I’m writing to express my appreciation for the courtesy you have extended to the Atwater Village Farmers market over the past four years by allowing it to operate within your parking lot on Sunday mornings. It is my understanding that there have recently been discussions of terminating this contract, and I cannot tell you what a blow this would be to our community.

Atwater Village has truly blossomed over the past several years. It is one of the only truly walkable neighborhoods in the city of Los Angeles, and as such, has enjoyed an incredible influx of families and local businesses. As Atwater Village has endeavored to reinvent itself, it has created a thriving environment which have made its shops and restaurants a destination not only for the local population, but for people from all over the city. The Atwater Village Farmer’s Market is not only a strong sign of Atwater’s improvement, it is also a cause of continued growth. Knowing that there is a farmer’s market within easy walking distance is a huge incentive for potential home buyers, particularly young families who want to be able to live, shop and eat locally in their neighborhood without driving.

In this difficult economy, many up-and-coming neighborhoods backslide, and when this happens, local businesses often suffer the most. For this reason, it’s more important than ever that Atwater Village retain its residents and continue to attract new families and local businesses. Continuing Atwater’s growth can only be an asset to your bank, particularly when those people moving into the neighborhood demonstrate how much they value putting their money back into their community. This is exactly the type of people who visit farmer’s markets, so their continued support and patronage of ‘the local Wells Fargo’ will benefit your bank more than being open a few hours on Sunday ever will.

The Atwater Farmers Market is a huge asset to Atwater Village, and a much beloved one. It is, by extension, an asset to your bank’s business. The best way to maintain good relations with the Atwater community is to ensure that the Farmer’s Market continues to flourish.

Sincerely,

[YOUR NAME HERE]

SEND YOUR STRONGLY WORDED LETTER TO THE FOLLOWING FOLKS:

Judy Fishman
Vice President
Wells Fargo Corporate Properties Group
333 South Grand Ave., Ste. 700
Los Angeles, CA 90071

Ricardo Villarreal
MAC E2063-011
3250 Glendale Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA 90039 ]]> http://www.painkiller.org/ridiculosity/save-the-veggies-in-atwater-village/feed 4 http://www.painkiller.org/politics-etc/politics/president http://www.painkiller.org/politics-etc/politics/president#comments Wed, 05 Nov 2008 07:32:53 +0000 adam http://www.painkiller.org/?p=447

Hey, so maybe the whole “Bradley Effect” was kinda bullshit.

Just Stop Thinking About It 

And Care of Samuel L. Jackson Himself