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Confused, Ignorant Bastards and the Federal Government
“I realize that there are differing opinions with regard to Marx, and his most famous work, The Communist Manifesto, but I was unaware that we had degenerated in this country to the point that we can no longer appreciate alternative political views.”
I haven’t really come up with an established system for concocting these rants quite yet, but I certainly hope to soon. For now I’ll just say that sometimes I come up with a cool one liner (see above) and go from there, or sometimes something occurs to me that just begs to be dragged through the mud. Today, my subject inspires my headline, and once again, most of this came to me while driving — no harm in that really.
The result was great consternation when I was commuting home Wednesday, stuck in traffic, and was confronted with a bumper sticker which still confuses the hell out of me — it read “Karl Marx was a Democrat.” Now, I realize that there are differing opinions with regard to Marx, and his most famous work, The Communist Manifesto, but I was unaware that we had degenerated in this country to the point that we can no longer appreciate alternative political views. Of course, being a democrat myself, my first reaction was a positive one as I took the statement as a compliment. But, since the sticker resided just a few inches away from a “Dole/Kemp ‘96″ sticker, it became clear that this statement was, in fact, not intended to flatter me. Not only was it meant to brand Marx a worthless “Communist” in the true spirit of McCarthyism, but it was also meant to brand democrats with the same vile and bilious reputation that the communists have enjoyed in solitude for so many years.
I gave this concept a great deal of thought. I decided that in the popular view, the bumper sticker was actually relatively close to the truth. It’s true that democrats traditionally favor federal control of localities, and in opposition, republican policy typically favors the authority of those localities to govern themselves. I think there are important rights that can only remain protected if they retain federal support. As a democrat, I generally don’t have a problem with these exercises of policy. Whether we like it or not, I think we’ve reached a boiling point on many issues in this country, and it makes me feel better to know that, for instance, freedom of choice is something which is federally guarded, and not something that individual municipalities can rule on. I think the civil war was based on the same kind of regional disagreement which would likely result from a country in which such basic human rights are sublimated in some regions and protected in others.
But enough of that high-minded drivel. That asshole driving in front of me didn’t mull these issues over. He was standing in a fucking Walmart when he saw this bumper sticker and decided that while he’d never actually read any Marx, he knew he was a communist, and “communists are bad.” With such a simple way to openly slam democrats on the back of his car in reach, he snapped it up and slapped his hard earned republican cash on the counter.
I know plenty of intelligent republicans. What frightens me however, is that most of them agree with me (or I with them) most of the time. Now perhaps that means I’m getting conservative as I get older, but more likely, it means that the 20 and 30-something generation has begun to follow an ideology which relies more on education and common sense than political dogma. Jim Bob numskull wasn’t following any set of values gleaned from an education or political discourse when he bought his bumper sticker, he was simply standing there, thinking stupidly that he hates democrats because he’s a fucking moron (and a republican) and he’d like to get a good shot in. Why not, the name Marx carries some intellectual credence, so maybe he wouldn’t come off looking stupid.
Sorry you lummox, go back to college. Maybe while you’re there you can actually read The Communist Manifesto and learn something about communism’s place in the development of political thinking, and in turn, it’s place in the system we trudge through every day.
Okay…enough.
On a final note, I just wanted to address the second part of today’s headline, i.e. the federal government. Perhaps I won’t sound like so much of a democrat when I say that I’m really tired of paying taxes just to see my money used for shit. I’m usually right on the ball, and I file my taxes early in the year. This is stupid. In April, a real effort is made to keep resounding (and expensive) failures out of the press so Americans don’t become too bitter. However, in January, all you need do is pick up the paper and you can read about any number of government projects which have pissed away ungodly amounts of my money. To say the least, it’s all a bit disconcerting.
As another “by the way,” if anyone actually reads these rants of mine and you feel inclined to email me, I’d appreciate a reminder that I’d really like to write a little piece on religion. I had a very disturbing encounter with someone today who really jumped on me when I said “goddamn.” I think I’ll call the piece GODDAMNIT, WE’RE PAYING THAT ASSHOLE GOD A LOT OF MONEY, AND HE CAN’T EVEN MAKE A COUPLE OF GUEST APPEARANCES IN THE POCONOS FOR CHRISTS SAKE! How’d that be?
Until another godforsaken hour. Goddamnit I’m a blasphemer!
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